Sermon Notes

During the sermon at our church we have KidsQuest for children  in 2nd grade and below. Since Jackson was moving into 3rd grade this year I wanted to make the transition for him staying through the whole service a positive one, so I started searching for something to involve him and to hopefully create discussion for the following week.

I found a few ideas online, but ended up coming up with my own sheet I've uploaded here.

Jackson has used it the last few weeks and while no great discussions have come out of it yet, I love that he is engaging in at least the basics and learning to take even the simplest of notes.

Here are a couple others that I found online: Sermon Notes for Kids and Sermon Note taking Sheet.

Enjoy!

Every nation, tribe, people and language

Different skin. Different culture. Different language. 

Same God.

What a joy it is to worship with believers from the other side of the world!

We hosted two Korean children this weekend that were part of a children's choir at our missions conference. Our children loved every moment with them and Haviland adored having two sisters - even if was just for the weekend.

They left this morning and it will be so hard to get back to our schedule. So far all we've been able to do is re-live the last 72 hours and how great God is to share with us our extended family in Christ.

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. -Revelation 7:9

The chaperones/mothers in traditional dress

Haeun, Kieun and Haviland

 We all couldn't but help notice that every time we took their picture that they held up the "peace sign". Jackson said, "I think it's how they say 'cheese' in Korean." :)


It was also no small thing that by chance God's providence that the topics of Korea, Asia and the Korean War were our memory work last week which led to all kinds of great discussions with our guests. I couldn't have planned that if I tried!!

What was in your trick or treat bag?

We took the kids trick or treating in the neighborhood last night and it was so much fun to watch their excitement.

Of course for many Christian parents it is a tough decision whether or not to let their children participate in Halloween festivities. Some families overwhelmingly disapprove and others embrace it to extremes. It's one of those tough things and while we don't pretend Santa, we do allow the kids to trick or treat.

In any case, when their buckets were full, they ran in the door and dumped their treasures on the living room floor. This year, however, I did notice lots of unfamiliar items in their stash - Church flyers, Bible tracts and yes, even a church-sponsored coupon from Chik-fil-A that said, "Amen to Chikin" on it (I'm not exaggerating - see below!).

While most commercialization of Christianity (as in above example) gets under my skin I guess I can at least be glad that many churches are not ignoring the "holiday", but choosing to let people know that there can be light in the darkness of life.

Was there anything unexpected in your children's loot?

School Year Planning - Part One

"What have I forgotten?"

Few things are more exciting for a homeschooling mom as planning for the new school year. However, a few  weeks ago as I sat down with friends to plan out schedules I had a hard time focusing. I knew there was something that I had forgotten in all of my resource gathering, supply buying and lesson planning. Hadn't I chosen the best curriculum? Hadn't I planned something for everyone? Hadn't I bought and organized everything?

What was it? It was driving me crazy!

Yes, it should have been obvious, but it took close to a week for me to figure out what I had forgotten - PRAYER!!

Prayer for clarity in my role as a wife, mother and teacher. Prayer for each child - their needs, weaknesses and struggles. Prayer for our home and family as we are ever learning how to love and serve each other and those around us.

Thankfully I was able to share these things with sixteen other moms the other night as I hosted a Welcome Tea for new and returning moms to our Classical Conversations community and now I want to share them with you.

Now please, this is not just for homeschoolers OR moms, so if this doesn't describe you, don't go just yet.

Taken from the Westminster Larger Catechism, I hope this will refresh and renew us all as we seek our roles and responsibilities that bring glory to God. Click here for a printable version. (I tucked a copy into my lesson planner lest I forget again!!)


What is required of superiors towards their inferiors?


It is required of superiors, according to that power they receive from God, and that relation wherein they stand, to love,[680] pray for,[681] and bless their inferiors;[682] to instruct,[683] counsel, and admonish them;[684] countenancing,[685] commending,[686] and rewarding such as do well;[687] and discountenancing,[688] reproving, and chastising such as do ill;[689] protecting,[690] and providing for them all things necessary for soul[691] and body:[692] and by grave, wise, holy, and exemplary carriage, to procure glory to God,[693] honour to themselves,[694] and so to preserve that authority which God hath put upon them.[695]

[680] Colossians 3:19. Titus 2:4. [681] 1 Samuel 12:23. Job 1:5. [682] 1 Kings 8:55-56 Hebrews 7:7. Genesis 49:28..[683] Deuteronomy 6:6-7. [684] Ephesians 6:4. [685] 1 Peter 3:7. [686] 1 Peter 2:14. Romans 13:3. [687] Esther 6:3[688] Romans 13:3-4. [689] Proverbs 29:15. 1 Peter 2:14. [690] Job 29:13-16. Isaiah 1:10, 17. [691] Ephesians 6:4. [692] 1 Timothy 5:8. [693] 1 Timothy 4:12. Titus 2:3-5. [694] 1 Kings 3:28. [695] Titus 2:15.

What are the sins of superiors?

The sins of superiors are, besides the neglect of the duties required of them,[696] and inordinate seeking of themselves,[697] their own glory,[698] ease, profit, or pleasure;[699] commanding things unlawful,[700] or not in the power of inferiors to perform;[701] counseling,[702] encouraging,[703] or favouring them in that which is evil;[704] dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good;[705] correcting them unduly;[706] careless exposing, or leaving them to wrong, temptation, and danger;[707] provoking them to wrath;[708] or any way dishonouring themselves, or lessening their authority, by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or remiss behaviour.[709]

[696] Ezekiel 34:2-4. [697] Philippians 2:21. [698] John 5:44. John 7:18. [699] Isaiah 56:10-11. Deuteronomy 17:17. [700] Daniel 3:4-6. Acts 4:17-18..[701] Exodus 5:10-18. Matthew 23:2, 4 [702] Matthew 14:8. Mark 6:24. [703] 2 Samuel 13:28. [704] 1 Samuel 3:13. [705] John 7:46-49. Colossians 3:21. Exodus 5:17[706] 1 Peter 2:18-20. Hebrews 12:10.. Deuteronomy 25:3. [707] Genesis 38:11, 26. Acts 18:17. [708] Ephesians 6:4. [709] Genesis 9:21. 1 Kings 12:13-16. 1 Kings 1:6. 1 Samuel 2:29-31.

What is the honour that inferiors owe to their superiors?

The honour which inferiors owe to their superiors is, all due reverence in heart,[658] word, [659] and behaviour;[660] prayer and thanksgiving for them;[661] imitation of their virtues and graces;[662] willing obedience to their lawful commands and counsels;[663] due submission to their corrections;[664] fidelity to,[665] defence,[666] and maintenance of their persons and authority, according to their several ranks, and the nature of their places;[667] bearing with their infirmities, and covering them in love,[668] that so they may be an honour to them and to their government.[669]

[657] Ephesians 5:21. 1 Peter 2:17. Romans 12:10[658] Malachi 1:6. Leviticus 19:3. [659] Proverbs 31:28. 1 Peter 3:6. [660] Leviticus 19:32. 1 Kings 2:19[661] 1 Timothy 2:1-2[662] Hebrews 13:7. Philippians 3:17. [663] Ephesians 6:1-2, 6-7. 1 Peter 2:13-14. Romans 13:1-5. Hebrews 13:17. Proverbs 4:3-4. Exodus 18:19, 24. [664] Hebrews 12:91 Peter 2:18-20. [665] Titus 2:9-10.[666] 1 Samuel 26:15-16. [667] Matthew 22:21. Romans 13:6-7. 1 Timothy 5:17-18Galatians 6:6. Genesis 45:11. Genesis 47:12. [668] 1 Peter 2:18. Proverbs 23:22 Genesis 9:23. [669] Psalm 127:3-5. Proverbs 31:23.

What are the sins of inferiors against their superiors?

The sins of inferiors against their superiors are, all neglect of the duties required toward them;[670] envying at,[671] contempt of,[672] and rebellion[673] against, their persons[674] and places,[675] in their lawful counsels,[676] commands, and corrections;[677] cursing, mocking[678] and all such refractory and scandalous carriage, as proves a shame and dishonour to them and their government.[679]

[670] Matthew 15:4-6. [671] Numbers 11:28-29[672] 1 Samuel 8:7. Isaiah 3:5. [673] 2 Samuel 15:1-12 [674] Exodus 21:15. [675] 1 Samuel 10:27. [676] 1 Samuel 2:25. [677] Deuteronomy 21:18-21[678] Proverbs 30:11, 17. [679] Proverbs 19:26.

What are the duties of equals?

The duties of equals are, to regard the dignity and worth of each other,[710] in giving honour to go one before another;[711] and to rejoice in each others’ gifts and advancement, as their own.[712]

[710] 1 Peter 2:17.[711] Romans 12:10. [712] Romans 12:15-16. Philippians 2:3-4

What are the sins of equals?

The sins of equals are, besides the neglect of the duties required,[713] the undervaluing of the worth,[714] envying the gifts,[715] grieving at the advancement of prosperity one of another;[716] and usurping pre-eminence one over another.[717]

[713] Romans 13:8. [714] 2 Timothy 3:3. [715] Acts 7:9. Galatians 5:26. [716] Numbers 12:2. Esther 6:12-13. [717] 3 John 9. Luke 22:24.

Source: Westminster Larger Catechism – Questions 127-132

Get outside!

The summer months have me slowing down on blog posts. There is so much to do and not much time to write about it!

After a hectic May we're back to a more normal routine. School is back "in" for us. Mostly just review and reading, but reading always leads to questions, which leads to research, which leads to learning.

One thing I have struggled with, however, is getting the kids to stay outside for playtime. I don't send them out in the hottest part of the day and our back yard is shaded, so realistically they have no reason to not enjoy their time outside. Still, they find one excuse after another to come back inside.

"I've got to go potty."
"I need some water."
"I need to get a toy."
"I spilled my water. I need another one."
"I want to change shoes/clothes."
"What time is it?"
"Can I have something to eat?"

The list goes on and on.

This morning Jackson woke up and asked, "Mom, are we going outside again today?"

Something about that really unnerved me and I thought, "Lord, what is the heart of this?"

Immediately I was reminded that the two ways that God reveals Himself is

a) through His Word
and
b) through His creation

 To know that we can see God's handiwork and experience Him should excite us, not bore us. So, we had a great conversation about that and how our comforts in the house often distract us and keep us away from what is really important.

In perfect timing (I love when God does this!) I pulled out a list of things I found online that I've been meaning to do with the kids outside but just never got around to. I cut the activities apart, put them in the box and will let them choose one each day to complete. Of course, I am fully prepared for them to finish it in about two minutes, but hopefully this will lead them to stay out longer and longer each time. 

I'll let you know how it goes...

Here's the list I found online. Does anyone have any others to share?

My only rule for this is it cannot be anything that they are "entertained" by (i.e. Slip and Slide, swimming at the pool). Not that we don't do those as well, but it must have some component of exploration, observation, and thinking. The simpler the better. Stick and sand sort of stuff.

I'd love other ideas!!

Psalm 19:1-3 (New International Version)

1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

3 There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

Not to us, O Lord - Part 2

Well, based on this news article our new church has not much more to offer than a new building and contemporary music. Uggggh....

Grand opening awaits new church

Faith Promise Update

Last month I shared about our decision to keep track of extra money that comes in and wanted to report.

In a short time of six weeks we've counted a total of $286.47!!! I am astounded that this much money has come into our hands in such a short period of time.

Where did this money come from? I was asked to teach a sign language class, consigned some clothes, got an unexpected refund from the hospital from Whitaker's stay back in December, and received a credit from my Amazon Associates account from people like you purchasing things by clicking my Amazon link to the right. (Thank you very much for that!!) It has added up very quickly.

What will we do with this money? We will donate it to our church's Faith Promise fund which goes to support missions and projects that are not included in the every day budget. Maybe a single parent will need groceries, maybe a missionary will need extra help, maybe..., maybe... , maybe.

The possibilities are endless!

Yea God!!

Oh, the place I went!

Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.
                           -Dr. Seuss

I've been mulling over this post all week and wondering what direction it would take. I've written out the story two different times before making the realization no one would care about every detail, so here's what went down:

Tuesday, Jackson tested for Memory Master.
He did not make it.
He cried.
I sobbed and thought of any and every thing that I could blame.
I worked hard all year.
I wanted to be rewarded.
I wanted that stinkin' "been there, done that" t-shirt.
I wanted "Work hard" to equal "You Win!"

But this is real life. I should know better.

Once I had my pity party, I knew immediately that the Lord was using this to show me my pride and how much it stinks. It's a work in process, this refinement He's doing in me. Painful, but so very necessary.

Funny, both Jackson and Haviland aced the Bible portion of their memory work, but I did so little rejoicing over this. Clearly, my goal was not to serve and glorify God.

In his book, Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller notes, "What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

I was feeling those things because my idol of worldly success meant more to me than pleasing the God of eternity.

So this week, that's where I am. Sifting through my sin that so easily entangled me and amazingly grateful for the grace He has given me to try again.

Holy Week

This

is

a

great

week.

The week leading up to Easter.

I've been wondering what it was like to witness such an event.

From Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem and hearing the sounds of cheer and praise that quickly became jeers and taunts as He was tried, beaten, and crucified.

Can I really understand the cost that ransomed my sinful and wicked heart?

Wow. 

Yesterday at Sunday School we were discussing evil and suffering in the world and why God doesn't do something about it. We can point right to the cross and His sacrifice for the answer.

The answer is: He has.

Author Paul Little says this, "God has done something about the problem of evil. He has done the most dramatic, costly, and effective thing possible by giving His Son to die for evil man. It is possible for man to escape God's inevitable judgment on sin and evil. It is also possible to have its power broken by entering into a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. The ultimate answer to the problem of evil at the personal level is found in the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ."

The Goal

With all of this couponing, saving, and sales shopping what is the goal? Is it to get more stuff? Is it a competition? Is it all for fun? Well for me, I wanted to challenge myself to be a better steward of what we have been entrusted with.

Have I succeeded so far?

Well, with this week's groceries I saved 42% and spent $84. Now that's great, but of course that's not the only money I spent on food. Inevitably, I tend to find myself at a drive-thru once a week with the kids. Not a bad thing entirely, but at the end of the month I'm always surprised at how much money we spend on fast food.

While we are trying to be more consciencious with what we spend Simon and I have stepped out and have committed a certain amount of money over our tithe to help support missionaries we had the pleasure of meeting at our church's recent Missions Conference.

We call it our Faith Promise and it can be described as this: An amount not yet seen or accounted for. It is excess money that (1) you must trust God to give you, if it pleases Him, and (2) that you promise God to give back to Him as he provides.

Now this isn't a way to pat ourselves on the back or to "do good so we will be blessed back". It is much more of an awareness of how incredibly blessed we are and the privilege it is to be able to serve others.

So, in our case we are keeping track of every dollar that comes in that does not come from Simon's salary and will be giving this money to help support our missionaries. While we have only made this committment in the past two weeks, it is so exciting to see how unexpected money has come our way. 

So far, I have consigned some things at a children's consignment sale, received money from my Amazon associates account (for the very first time even though I've had the account for more than a year!) and am teaching a sign language class to child care providers tomorrow.

I am keeping a running tally of it all and I'll be sure to report back!

To get you thinking...

"The Bible is authoritative not because it is a manual for living, but because it reveals to us Jesus who has the power to cut through all of humanity's baloney." -Jacob Smith

"Nobody ever outgrows Scripture: the Book widens and deepens with our years." -Charles Spurgeon

"The Bible should be taught so early and so thoroughly that it sinks straight to the bottom of the mind where everything that comes along can settle on it." -Northrop Frye

"Scripture is more than just an account of God's actions and more than just a "love letter"; it is the primary means through which he imparts knowledge, provides care, and conforms us into the image of Christ (2 Cor. 3:18). -Nate Palmer

Agree or disagree? Any thoughts?

 

Indulge me - Part 2

I thought I'd compare my alma mater's Statement of Purpose with our state's largest University, UGA. Here is a portion of their educational mission:

With its statewide mission and core characteristics, UGA endeavors to prepare the university community and the state for full participation in the global society of the twenty- first century. Through its programs and practices, it seeks to foster the understanding of and respect for cultural differences necessary for an enlightened and educated citizenry. It further provides for cultural, ethnic, gender and racial diversity in the faculty, staff and student body. The university is committed to preparing the university community to appreciate the critical importance of a quality environment to an interdependent global society.

Now, does this offend me or surprise me at all? No, not in the least. I know it is a secular institution and I have no problem with that. Of course, since I believe the whole goal of any type of education should glorify God and not man I don't agree with it, but that's another issue.

So, I'm trying to understand the root of my sadness and disappointment when I think about my alma mater.

I have never been under the illusion that it was a college with a Christian worldview. I knew that the first semester I attended. I do wonder however, why they are still "voluntarily" associated with a church. If their basic mission is not to glorify God, but to enlighten man I really don't understand why it needs the ties to the church. Of course, I do know they receive funding from the PC USA (which by the way, is completely different from PCA) so is it really the case here that it's the money talking?

Still pondering many thoughts about this...

Indulge me for a moment

Okay, thoughts are swirling in my head as to how to approach this, but would you join me in reading a portion of my alma mater's statement of purpose in 1980 vs. its "newly revised" version of 2003?

The 1980 version is watered down quite a bit already, but I don't even know what to say about the 2003 version.

More thoughts on this later for sure...


From the College's Statement of Purpose
adopted 1980-

In an atmosphere of freedom and sensitivity, the College bears witness to God's revelation in Jesus Christ who challenges all human beings to search for truth, to work for justice, to develop wisdom, and to become loving persons. Continuing in this vital faith, the College believes that it must listen attentively and humbly to all human voices so that it may hear the call of God no matter how God may speak.




From the College’s Statement of Purpose
adopted 2003 -

the College believes that it must listen attentively and humbly to all human voices so that it may hear the call of God no matter how God may speak. A genuine church-related liberal arts college must ensure that both diversity and Christian identity are present on campus in a creative balance. The goal of a Maryville education is not simply the adoption of a particular stance or worldview, but rather the search for truth, wherever it may be found, and the ability to recognize and take seriously life’s basic questions of faith, meaning and value.

Good, bad, naughty or nice?

Driving in the car today Haviland asked me, "Mom, if we're good we get presents, but if we're bad we don't, right?"

I love questions like that. And I was ready for an answer.

Having chosen to not go the Santa route this year, we have really wanted the children to get the true meaning of Christmas. It's not that I'm "anti-Santa", but there is such a different meaning to Christmas when the big, jolly elf is involved.

Anyway, back to Haviland's question.

Had we played up Santa my answer would have gone something like this:
"Yes. Santa keeps a naughty and nice list and if you're not good enough, he will know and not bring you presents."

Wonderfully though I was able to reply:
"No Haviland. Your behavior does not determine whether or not you receive gifts. We give gifts out of love for one another. Really, none of us are ever good enough to deserve gifts, much less the ultimate gift of Jesus. In fact, it is when we were still sinners that God gave us His Son. Pretty incredible, huh?"

The conversation continued and it was such a treasure for me to be able to share the gospel with my own daughter in such a simple way.

To me, this is what celebrating Christmas is about - understanding God's gift to us and sharing that with others. No present under the tree will top that! :)

He has never, ever wasted a wound

I read those words today in an email from a dear friend of mine and they jumped off the screen. She is always so honest in sharing her struggles and sorrows in life (from the death of a child many years ago to the every day ups and downs we all experience). Amazingly though, she never fails to follow up with how the Lord has moved to work all of these things for His glory which is what she was referring to in the above comment.


This has been a tough year for many people I know and love. Death of parents, loss of jobs, sicknesses, loneliness, fear.  It is in these times that I am so aware and weary of the "prosperity gospel" that is so prevalent in the world today. You know, "Be a good Christian and you will find favor." or "Love God and you will be blessed."

This is simply not the truth.

Jesus said:

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:33 (New International Version)

James reminds us:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. -James 1:2-3 (New International Version)

and

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. -James 1:12

Finally, remember 1 Peter 1:6-7:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Maybe this year has left you exhaused and worn out.

Maybe this year has left you feeling high and dry.

Maybe this year has been more than you ever bargained for.

Trials are part of this life. Christians are not exempt. However, we do have eternal hope.

This Christmas, may you know that your wounds need not be wasted.

Jesus Christ came for a reason.  He knows what it is like to suffer.

May you look to His arrival this week and experience His perfect love and saving grace.

Merry Christmas!!!

A simply unsatisfying church experience

Every Sunday for about 4 months now, Simon and I have left church simply unsatisfied.

And we couldn't be happier.

Let me back up a little...

As a Christian, how do you describe yourself?

By denomination- Baptist, Methodist, etc.?
By description- born-again, believer, follower of Christ?

In my walk at times I would use different words to describe where I am. I have never liked the words "spiritual" or "religious" so have stayed away from those words, but at different times have identified with one description more than another.

I have to admit that for most of my Christian life, mainline denominations have made no sense to me. They are too "gunked up" with either traditions of man or non-sensical rules, so it's no wonder that from the time that Simon and I got married 9 years ago that we started attending non-denominational Christian churches.

We connected with the music, the laid back style of worship and the entertaining sermons. We've seen it all as different churches are influenced by various theologies. We've seen the more charismatic side of laying on of hands and speaking in tongues as well as the big rock stage productions of praise music.

We've learned and seen so much (both good and bad) -and don't get me wrong there is a LOT that mainline denominations could learn from non-denominational churches, but for the most part we have left church on Sunday with a "full belly" and didn't think so much about it until the next Sunday. Not to say that we didn't participate in activities throughout the week - bible studies and volunteering, and have seen God show up in some big ways, but overall, let's just say that the typical Sunday church experience had "topped up" my tank until the following week.

Recently however, Simon and I started to feel that restlessness that so frustratingly and wonderfully means the Holy Spirit is preparing you for a change.

What we felt like the Lord was saying is
"Have you been spoon-fed or entertained for too long? Is Sunday about you or Me?"
"When you leave the presence of worshipping Me, has the itch of knowing Me been scratched enough, or does being in My presense make You long for more and leave you with a desire to serve Me more?"

And so, roughly 6 months ago we started looking for other churches. Sound doctrine and teaching, and an atmosphere of coming to Christ to see not what we could get out of it, but to learn how to pour out what we have been filled with onto others.

Would you believe we have found this in a denominational church? Something both Simon and I have specifically shyed away from?

Now that we've been at our our current church for four months now and officially became members of as today - yikes! - the newness is wearing off and here's what I'm rejoicing in...

Every Sunday, we leave simply unsatisfied. For the first time in a long time, we leave church longing for Him more, itching for Him to reveal more of Himself, and are more hungry than ever for Him. The exact opposite of that gluttonous full-bellied feeling of hearing "a good sermon" and then not thinking about it past that very day.

There are so many scriptures that come to mind and we're excited for this new chapter of seeking Him and knowing Him instead of being entertained by mere thoughts of Him.

Hebrews 6: 1-3
2 Timothy 4: 3-4
Colossians 2: 6-10

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. -John Piper


Note: After I wrote this I needed to come back and comment that the Truth is not found more in a denominational church vs. a non-denominational church. In fact, if you've been reading the news at all, there are very few denominational churches that are willing to speak the Truth, much less defend it. My post is more about the journey that the Lord is bringing me through and how He made me challenge my assumptions. Basically, He's humbling me. But don't go thinking that I'll define myself by my denomination any time soon. Just the fact that I'm a "member" sometimes freaks me out in and of itself... :)

Do you know why Jesus came?

Quiz time:

Why did Jesus say he came into this world?

A. to save us

B. to be a good role model

C. to fulfill prophecy

ohhh, this is good guys. Out of his own mouth this is what He said,

John 18:37

Therefore Pilate said to Him, "So You are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say correctly that I am a king. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice."

That's right! He came to testify to the truth!

Can you believe that "truth" is mentioned over 75 times in the gospels when talking about Jesus' ministry? Do you think that this "truth" is important? Why have I missed this central concept? Oh that I would know His truth from the world's lies!

I'm so excited that we just started The Truth Project. I want to challenge what I say I believe. This is not a course in how-you-can-know-the-truth-so-you-can-judge-others or a course on I'm-right-you're wrong. We are taking God's Word and His claims and putting them up against what the world tells us. Do you know that for every truth He has given us, the world speaks to it in opposition?

There are so many great examples and I cannot wait as we examine them all in the upcoming weeks.

Good Grief

Good grief. Who would've thought it was more than an expression?

I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you who reached out to me during this past two weeks. I cannot tell you how comforted and even encouraged I have been and this time has allowed me to have some "Good Grief".

To give you an update, the miscarriage did happen on it's own on Wednesday night, ten days after we found out that the baby did not have a heartbeat. Mom & Dad took the kids and Simon stayed home with me on Thursday. It was definitely not pleasant. Very bad cramps and the need to stay as close to the bathroom as possible was mandatory. Friday, I stayed close to home as well, just feeling tired and today we all went out this morning and I took a great nap today.

We had some wonderful meals delivered to us this week and a beautiful peace lily to boot. So many of my friends and family have reached out and shared their experiences of loss as well.

For some of you who have comforted me in person I want to thank you for simply giving me "the look". At first, I did not really recognize "the look". After telling quite a few people about the miscarriage I started to notice something in everyone's eyes after I told them. Either people had it, or they didn't. Now I know why. I've realized that people with "the look" are those that have experienced loss and grief on a personal level and can in an instant seem to connect with me even when they say very little. I can see it on their faces immediately. It's a look full of compassion and sadness and something about "the look" makes me feel wrapped in a God-sized hug.

Thank you so, so very much...

Nine weeks blessed

Note: I posted this on Wed., Oct 8. I started writing it on the 6th, but couldn't quite finish it which is why the entry date is October 6, 2008.

Yes, I was nine weeks blessed. Last month, Simon and I were so excited to find out that we were expecting baby #4. Soon followed the normal nausea, tiredness and crankiness that I experience in every pregnancy. So, knowing the drill, we scheduled our first ultrasound today. Having had nothing but normal ultrasounds in my past pregnancies it was surreal to hear the doctor say, "Guys, I have bad news."

Our little one did not have a heartbeat and did appear to have an abnormality in his development- a lump behind the neck that was an indication that he would not form correctly.
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It's only been two days but I already feel like I am so different than I was 48 hours ago. I have come to know God as I never have and am experiencing His love in a way I would not have known had this never happened.

I could say, "I don't know why this happened God" and true, I don't know His whole plan but I do hope part of that reason is to draw me to Him. I am so clearly reminded of some of God's names:

• Elohay Mikarov - God Who Is Near: (Jeremiah 23:23)
• Elohay Mauzi - God Of My Strength: (Psalm 43:2)
• El Shaddai - The God who is sufficient for the needs of His people
• Jehovah-Jirah - The Lord our provider

In these past days, I am so drawn to Him. As I know what His character is, I can rely on who He is. I do not feel alone - He is with me. I do not feel defeated - He is my strength. I am not suffering - I have His peace.
Yes, I am sad. The nights are the worst. I don't know how you can miss something so much that you never knew. I do not like the fact that I am still nauseous, and know that this time feeling sick was not an indicator of a healthy baby. I do not like the thought of the upcoming miscarriage itself, but hate the idea of having to have surgery in case my body does not do what it was designed to do. I do not want to be happy right now - it is comforting to grieve.
There is such a fine line between all of these feelings. I would never wish this on anyone, but at the same time I love the face of the Lord that I have seen because of this. That, I do wish for everyone.
Baby Graham, I love you. I am more than nine weeks blessed. I am nine weeks blessed and counting...
You did have a purpose and I rejoice in you. You are beautiful and to know you are in the presence of God in all of his glory right now is more than any mother could hope for. I will see you soon.

There is a sweetness in sorrow I cannot explain

A complicated, simple

Yet sound, solid sweetness.

Hugging me, holding me

Helping me cry

Waves come upon me, I cannot contain

But Your mercy and goodness

is ever so clear

In Your sweetness, Your sweetness

Your sound, solid sweetness.

Bloggin' Blues

This weekend I had the chance to play around with my blog- adding features, music, etc. It really can get addictive- this virtual world- and I have to be very careful with my time that is already so incredibly limited.

Anyway, this morning I visited my own blog and while it's fun to see my thoughts written out, lists in order, something wasn't quite right.... I couldn't put my finger on it and then it hit me - THIS BLOG IS TOO NEAT! It's just not me!! Someone, tell me where the 'messy' button is!!!I mean, everything is squared off with soothing colors, inspiring songs and fun pictures. Where are the fingerprints, the coffee-stain rings, the half-finished thoughts?? Don't get me wrong, I love to have one single place that I can have to myself, but in some ways I feel I haven't been able to convey all of me. Maybe I should add some kind of mood meter that reflects my daily mood- is there even such a thing?? I am not neat, my favorite color is not blue and as much as I'd like to believe it- I am no where near the wife and mother I would like to be.

Anyway, as I work on "messy-ing" up my blog a bit, my hope is that everyone would know that I will strive to keep it real, to not hide myself in this easily deceitful mode of communication. My life is not a cute little scrapbook page and I hope to reveal the lows as well as the highs. The mistakes and the victories. I am Little Miss Messy. I don't want to wallow in it, make excuses to never change, but it is in me. In fact, I actually embrace that part of me. It's the biggest reason I need a Savior - daily.

Thanks for letting me confess. Now, who are you?