Ahhhhh....

...there's nothing like returning home from vacation

                                                 to discover a freezer full of spoiled meat.

(I'm trying hard to laugh at the antics of a certain three year old who's busy hands got him in trouble once again. Just give me a few minutes to get over my gagging.)

Get outside!

The summer months have me slowing down on blog posts. There is so much to do and not much time to write about it!

After a hectic May we're back to a more normal routine. School is back "in" for us. Mostly just review and reading, but reading always leads to questions, which leads to research, which leads to learning.

One thing I have struggled with, however, is getting the kids to stay outside for playtime. I don't send them out in the hottest part of the day and our back yard is shaded, so realistically they have no reason to not enjoy their time outside. Still, they find one excuse after another to come back inside.

"I've got to go potty."
"I need some water."
"I need to get a toy."
"I spilled my water. I need another one."
"I want to change shoes/clothes."
"What time is it?"
"Can I have something to eat?"

The list goes on and on.

This morning Jackson woke up and asked, "Mom, are we going outside again today?"

Something about that really unnerved me and I thought, "Lord, what is the heart of this?"

Immediately I was reminded that the two ways that God reveals Himself is

a) through His Word
and
b) through His creation

 To know that we can see God's handiwork and experience Him should excite us, not bore us. So, we had a great conversation about that and how our comforts in the house often distract us and keep us away from what is really important.

In perfect timing (I love when God does this!) I pulled out a list of things I found online that I've been meaning to do with the kids outside but just never got around to. I cut the activities apart, put them in the box and will let them choose one each day to complete. Of course, I am fully prepared for them to finish it in about two minutes, but hopefully this will lead them to stay out longer and longer each time. 

I'll let you know how it goes...

Here's the list I found online. Does anyone have any others to share?

My only rule for this is it cannot be anything that they are "entertained" by (i.e. Slip and Slide, swimming at the pool). Not that we don't do those as well, but it must have some component of exploration, observation, and thinking. The simpler the better. Stick and sand sort of stuff.

I'd love other ideas!!

Psalm 19:1-3 (New International Version)

1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

3 There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

Oh, the place I went!

Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.
                           -Dr. Seuss

I've been mulling over this post all week and wondering what direction it would take. I've written out the story two different times before making the realization no one would care about every detail, so here's what went down:

Tuesday, Jackson tested for Memory Master.
He did not make it.
He cried.
I sobbed and thought of any and every thing that I could blame.
I worked hard all year.
I wanted to be rewarded.
I wanted that stinkin' "been there, done that" t-shirt.
I wanted "Work hard" to equal "You Win!"

But this is real life. I should know better.

Once I had my pity party, I knew immediately that the Lord was using this to show me my pride and how much it stinks. It's a work in process, this refinement He's doing in me. Painful, but so very necessary.

Funny, both Jackson and Haviland aced the Bible portion of their memory work, but I did so little rejoicing over this. Clearly, my goal was not to serve and glorify God.

In his book, Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller notes, "What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

I was feeling those things because my idol of worldly success meant more to me than pleasing the God of eternity.

So this week, that's where I am. Sifting through my sin that so easily entangled me and amazingly grateful for the grace He has given me to try again.

It's a sling thing!

Most of you know that I love carrying my babies in slings from the time they are born. I carried the first three in my Kangaroo Korner sling and swore that there was nothing better. However, once Whitaker was born I started having back and shoulder pain when I wore it and I was at a loss what to do!

I came across the Moby Wrap and now cannot imagine any other baby carrier. It supports both of my shoulders and back, whereas the sling went over one shoulder. Yes, the wrap was fidgety at first since it is one long piece of fabric, but once I got the hang of it (with another mom's help), there was no turning back. (Man, I wish I was being paid for promoting them!)

'

I have been planning to write about my new love for the Moby Wrap for some time now, but have not gotten around to it for one reason or another. Oddly enough, I opened the paper today to read about the warning that will soon be issued regarding such carriers.

Infants can and have suffocated in slings and wraps, so while I know this warning is important it's my hope that moms don't abandon these altogether. Education is KEY so hopefully the warning will not poo-poo the use of slings/wraps entirely, rather teach the do's and don'ts.

So, here are my thoughts on safe baby-wearing:

1. Make sure the sling you purchase is the right size for you. Slings are sized to be snug and secure. Too loose, not good. Too tight, not good. (Wraps are a little different in that they tend to be one size fits most.)


2. Your baby should be worn high enough that you can kiss the top of his/her head and/or can see their face at all times. 

3. Wear your baby close to you. I have seem moms wearing slings that are so low that the baby is around their waists- more like a purse than a sling. Think of it this way, your baby is not an accessory, they become an extension of you when you are wearing them correctly. They should not flop around in your sling/wrap.


4. If your baby is a newborn and lacks neck muscle control, make sure their chins are not tucked into their chest which can restrict breathing.
 
5. Don't let this warning scare you away from wearing your baby! It is done around the world and has been done for thousands of years. Read your sling manufacturer's baby wearing suggestions and enjoy this precious time of being close to your baby! :) 

Please tell me

I'm not the only one who has children that have broken a new Christmas toy or have uttered the words, "I'm bored."

Good, bad, naughty or nice?

Driving in the car today Haviland asked me, "Mom, if we're good we get presents, but if we're bad we don't, right?"

I love questions like that. And I was ready for an answer.

Having chosen to not go the Santa route this year, we have really wanted the children to get the true meaning of Christmas. It's not that I'm "anti-Santa", but there is such a different meaning to Christmas when the big, jolly elf is involved.

Anyway, back to Haviland's question.

Had we played up Santa my answer would have gone something like this:
"Yes. Santa keeps a naughty and nice list and if you're not good enough, he will know and not bring you presents."

Wonderfully though I was able to reply:
"No Haviland. Your behavior does not determine whether or not you receive gifts. We give gifts out of love for one another. Really, none of us are ever good enough to deserve gifts, much less the ultimate gift of Jesus. In fact, it is when we were still sinners that God gave us His Son. Pretty incredible, huh?"

The conversation continued and it was such a treasure for me to be able to share the gospel with my own daughter in such a simple way.

To me, this is what celebrating Christmas is about - understanding God's gift to us and sharing that with others. No present under the tree will top that! :)

Got boys?

This looks like a great message. I've yet to listen to it, so if you do, let me know what you think. It's available for download through tomorrow.

To download, click the link and scroll to the bottom of the page.

A House NOT Divided: Promoting Unity in the Homeschool Family – You’ve heard the verses and caught the vision, but what can you do to get your children on your team? Hal and Melanie Young, the authors of “Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys” have eight children, six of them sons. They know all about bickering and fighting and don’t like it! Stop the squabbling and sibling rivalry and begin making memories! In this live-recorded, idea-packed conference workshop, the Youngs share how to tear down obstacles and build up family unity in fun, memorable ways, especially during the holidays.

Numbers

Want to know all that I am learning at CC?

Today in music we counted 4 beats in a measure.

In geography, we reviewed the 7 continents and then 5 cities in the Byzantine Empire.

During presentations, I helped Jackson remember 3 things to share about his venus fly trap.

In Latin, we covered 5th declension noun endings and counted our cubes in math.

It was all going so well and I thought I had the numbers down.

As our time ended, I gathered our things to leave. I felt much more together than last week. Much more calm. Not as scattered.

We were almost out to the car when I hear someone shouting, "Kelli! Kelli!"

I look over and see one of the other mothers...with Bennett in tow.

Yep! I had forgotten to count my own chicks and had left one behind! I had really forgotten him!

I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later and am so thankful it happened in a place I know he was being looked after!

1-2-3-4

1-2-3-4

That's right, Kelli. 1-2-3-FOUR children!!!

Tomato Staking

Okay, okay... I know it's been a while since I've blogged. But with good reason that I won't get into now.

One topic that has been (and always is swirling) in my mind is parenting and discipline. Even though my children are at an early age, I see more and more every day the effects of my discipline - or lack thereof- on them.

We all know the "do what I say because I said so" method does not work in the long term and the longer I am a parent the less I am interested in their outward obedience, but much more concerned with the attitude of their heart.

With this in mind, I am definitely a proponent of training and training young. Want to know what I mean by that?

L. Elizabeth Krueger says it well in her book Raising Godly Tomatoes:

So What is Tomato Staking Again?

Every gardener knows what I mean by "tomato staking". A tomato plant grows fast, big, and wild. If left untended, it soon sprawls out into an unwieldy heap. As the fruit grows, it weighs the plant down to the ground. Propping by this time is too late. Any attempt to retrain and redirect the growth of the branches will result in breakage and substantial loss of the fruit due to rot, disease, and pests.

On the other hand, a tomato plant which has been properly cared for, will produce an abundance of excellent fruit. From the beginning it must be watered, cultivated, pruned, fertilized, examined for pests, and staked up. The branches will grow the way they were propped and trained, and when the fruit is large and ripe the branches will have the strength to hold those beautiful tomatoes up off the wet ground. What a delight!

Side note from me: Want a visual of this? Look at my tomato plants that I neglected. They are wild, wooly and very out of control!! They should be twice the height of Haviland, NOT the same height. They should be very tall but have fallen over with the weight of the tomatoes and by the time I noticed it there was no help for it. I would've broken the stems of those bad-boys in no time. Why oh why did I not train them in the way they should go? Let's just say that it begins with an "L" and ends with an "AZY" which definitely applies to my parenting at times.







Okay, back to the book:

Think of your child as a tomato plant. Most parents provide too little staking for their growing young tomatoes. They care for them intimately when they are babies, but soon afterwards, begin letting them grow their own way. They feel uncomfortable assuming authority over their children and resort to the “Putting Out Fires” method of parenting. They try desperately to overlook misbehavior and avoid conflicts, unless forced into it by the magnitude of the offense or by their own anger. Serious character flaws and bad behavioral habits, once established, are very hard to change, just like the neglected branches of a tomato plant. Catching problems now and then won’t begin to make a dent in the problem. And just like the sprawling, unattended, unstaked tomato plant, there comes a point when it's simply too late. Your child’s heart will become firmly fixed in the position it has been growing for all the many hours in between your sporadic corrections and over the years when you’ve allowed outside influences and peer pressure to do your staking job for you.

How much wiser to be your child’s tomato stake from early on, keeping him close to you beyond infancy, training him constantly to be as you want him to be -- a godly child and eventually a godly adult. If you do this, eventually, when he is grown, he will be strong in the ways you have trained him and will not easily be persuaded toward the viewpoint and ways others.

Tomato Staking is a powerful tool that enables preemptive parenting. When you Tomato Stake, you can anticipate wrong attitudes and misbehaviors and nip things in the bud before they become ingrained habits. You are right there to encourage right behavior as well. And, of course, it's easy to get to know your child when you spend time with him. And the better you know him, the more likely it is that you will develop a close, loving relationship, and will remain close throughout life. Tomato Staking provides you with the avenue to be a teacher, mentor, friend and more to your child. Meanwhile, it provides your child with the avenue to become your student, apprentice, companion, and eventually a godly adult friend as well. By then, he will be standing secure, firmly holding to the right habits and godly values instilled in him by his personal apprentices – you, his godly parents – via a Tomato Staking lifestyle. Most importantly, he will be prepared to pass these habits and values on to his own children – the most precious legacy a parent can bestow.

------------------------------------------------------------

I take this all to heart. Check out the site and delve into other topics. You may or may not agree to all she has to say, but I love her candidness and real-life examples of what tomato staking looks like.

Whew, I'm not the only one

As a follow up to yesterday's post-

Welcome to My Brain

Heritage building

Reaching their hearts. A quick checkup from time to time. Yup, you're good to go. If it was only as simple as this. If it was only as simple as this.

This year Simon and I have been walking through what we've considered to be our biggest parenting challenge to date- being purposeful in passing on a Godly legacy to our children. It has required so much more than we could have ever thought, but at every corner God has placed amazing people and resources in our path to lead us. So now it's time to share.

This has not been about raising good little Christian children and that "God is great, God is good". This is not about how much scripture they memorize. It is not about obedience on the outside. It does, however, have everything to do with reaching their hearts and pointing them to the One who is their constant hope, help and provider.

We take seriously the call to train them in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) and we firmly believe the only way to do that is to talk about them [the ways of the Lord] when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up (Deuteronomy 6:7).

It has so very little to do with attending church on Sunday, involving them in every VBS that comes our way, saying a quick grace before mealtimes. It's digging in, guys. A daily walk. Falling down, getting up. Finding that it's not sink or swim, rather a little of both. It won't always look pretty and no where near perfect. There will be days, heck- even weeks, when you will fail. I have. But it's that willingness to give up control and walk through life with the very children God placed in your family that will keep you humble and real in your walk.

Here's a quick fact sheet that sums up the VITAL role that parents play in their children's spiritual formation. I've also linked you to some of the books (at the right- first three books) that have helped guide us. Okay, here's my one disclaimer: these books are all great, but honestly, pick up God's word- The Holy Bible- that will encourage you and set you in the right direction more than any of these put together.

Enjoy!

He's a-walking

At 14 months, Bennett is officially a walker! Yea Bennett! For me, this has always marked the end of infancy and the beginning of toddlerhood, so maybe I'm not so excited after all. In the past, we've always known for sure that, God willing, we would have another child. This time, however, we just don't know.

One day, it's, "Yes, we're done." The other days it's "Are we sure we're done?" It doesn't help that on the days that I'm convinced that we're complete as a family of five, Simon will mention how we still have empty spaces at the dinner table and on the days when I mention how great it would be for Haviland to have a sister, Simon talks about the ever-increasing cost of college and weddings.

So, the conversation continues. We do know one thing for sure though. Children are a blessing and we do not take that blessing lightly. Recently I've been reading articles and praying about scripture that involve this very topic and once again am challenged. More on that later, but for now-

Bennett Bear,

I love you so much. You are a gift to our family and if you are the last child we have, we couldn't go out on a higher note. Please forgive me for only changing your diaper when your siblings tell me, "Mom, something smells. I think it's Bennett." (somehow my nose has become immune to the smell of poop) and for only bathing you when I remember- "Has it been 2 days or three? Well, one more day won't hurt." :) You have amazing patience and a giggle that makes my day. May God help me to know your heart and to lead it straight to Him.

Love, Momma

Foolish is as foolish does

There is nothing that drives me to anger more than foolishness. I see it all around me.

Take for instance this morning. I gave my dear daughter (age 3 1/2) a marker and specifically told her, "Do not get this marker on your clothes." In five seconds flat, I noticed she had gotten unwashable blue marker on her white shirt.

"This IS ridiculous!", I shouted. "Didn't I JUST tell you to not mark on yourself? That is foolishness! You have RUINED that shirt!" On and on and on...

Big eyes stare back at me.

Did I fail to mention that she was using the marker to color in her morning devotion book as we were studying Matthew 22:37-39?

37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Talk about foolishness- I'm the biggest fool of all. Why would a shirt be more important than loving my daughter (who is as close as a neighbor as one can be) as we read God's word together? Why would I give a 3 1/2 year old a marker that she isn't mature enough for anyway?

Because I am a fool. Proverbs 14:16 states:

A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.

Yup, that pretty much says it. Hotheaded and reckless. What good is my faith if I'm so angry and reckless with my words and attitudes that I harm those living under my very roof?

I told you. Foolishness is all around me. Worse yet, it is IN me.

Thankfully, grace is around me as well. And grace trumps foolishness. Every time. As I apologize for my outburst and my attitude and ask for forgiveness, my three year old wants to know if she can help clean up the mess on her shirt. We talked about messes- marker messes and the messes words create. Another day, another lesson, another chance.

Dinnertime fun

Recently, we've gotten in a dinnertime funk with the kids. I'm not sure if it's because we're tired after a long day of summer activities or what, but I started to realize that while we were all physically at the table- we were doing little to engage one another. Does this sound anything like your family?

Kid #1: Dad, how was your day?
Dad: Good. Busy. How was your day, ________?
Kid #1: Fine.
Dad: What did you do today, ____________?
Kid #2: Play.
Dad: What did you play?
Kid #2: All kinds of things.
Dad: Mom, how was your day?
Mom: Good. Busy.

Silence........

Stimulating conversation, huh???

Anyway, I found these great questions online and it's brought us back to life. I love what the kids have come up with. So far we've answered about 2-3 questions each night. Sometimes we answer them silly, sometimes serious, but so far we've enjoyed them a lot. I really like the Pragmatic ones since it gives us a way for us to talk about the things we just don't get around to talking about, like phone skills, giving info, manners, and problem solving. It also gives everyone a chance to be part of the conversation. You'd be surprised what a 3 year old will answer to:

You're at home and smell smoke. What do you do?

Enjoy!!

If... Then... situations
Practicing Pragmatics
Imagination Questions

This is the race I want to run

This week I've had the most enjoyable time listening to mothers that are a little bit further down the parenting line than I am and I have to tell you, that while all the statistics out there about teenagers and their angst have hung over me (especially when I reflect on my own very unhappy teenage years), I can now say that now I realize it doesn't have to be that way.

I had a chance to sit down with a mother that I know of five children (four of them being teenagers) and I cannot tell you how refreshing it was and to be honest, even a little shocking that guess what? She actually likes her teenagers AND gets along with them. Yes, she said they are growing, changing, becoming independent and even sometimes drive her crazy but that she is delighting in them and has done so in every season of their lives.

Don't ask me why this was somewhat shocking. I think somewhere I've come to believe a lie about the teenage years. That it is just supposed to be a time when both moms/dads and their teenagers throw their hands up in frustration and do their best just to get by and ride out the storm until someone comes to their senses.

Having had that conversation made me wonder what other lies that Satan would love for me to believe. Nuh-uh Satan.

Moms, let's all say it together:

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12: 1b-2

For another incredibly powerful story of a mother and her teenagers be sure to read the June 3 post from this mom's blog. I'm going to start planning that steak dinner and girl's getaway now... :)

Oh - My Highness!

Time for a little potty talk.

The other day I heard my three year old 'H' fall down on her backside and exclaim, "Oh, my Highness!" I thought it was a strange thing to say but didn't think much about it but since then she'll say things like, "Mom, come wipe my highness."

I guess I don't mind a few pet names for body parts, but it's just that this one is a cross between 'hiney' and 'a**'. Know what I'm saying?

Of course this all opens up a can of worms since also lately my 5 year old son has been more and more aware of how different girls and boys are made. I have sworn all along that I will not make a big deal out of the topic and to be honest and truthful, but I still cannot help cringe if Jackson says the word 'penis' in public.

So, I've been on the hunt for some age appropriate books that teaches them God's design for our bodies. Truthful, honest, not too graphic, but real. I found these 2 at the Christian bookstore over the weekend and we'll be reading them this week. I'll have to let you know how it goes... :)

The Story of Me- God's Design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones (Book 1)
Before I Was Born - God's Design for Sex by Carolyn Nystrom (Book 2)

Book 1 is for ages 3-5 and Book 2 is for ages 5-8.

My only critique of the first one is they show the mother having a c-section and say it was 'scary' - which has not at all what I've experienced in my births- but it will give me the perfect opportunity to educate the kids about c-sections.