A complete departure

Loving a good birth story, I have to share. Going through natural childbirth three times is definitely as real and tough as anything I've ever gone through. Something though I've never written about in my birth stories are the absolute crazy and irrational thoughts that have gone through my head usually somewhere right in the middle of transition.

Hard to believe, but I wasn't on any drugs whatsoever when the following things happened:

1. During labor with Jackson, I swear that the video camera was mocking me. Seriously, the red light on the camera was making fun of me in my then-labor position and I could not make it be quiet.
2. To hearing the slightest sound of people talking during a contraction, I remember wanting to focus on them with all the power that was in me and vaporize them. I then remember thinking, "That's not so nice. I'd better not look at them. I think I'd miss them later." It never dawned on me that I didn't actually have the power to vaporize someone just by looking at them.
3. During Bennett's labor, I could not figure out how all time, space and motion could be so altered that a normal five step walk could take a year- yes, a full 365 days. I then thought, "I wish I had taken physics in high school. I bet there's an equation to help me figure this out."
   
   Of course, this mom tells her story a little more, ahem, colorfully than I would (I honestly never remember even thinking curse words) I could not help getting the biggest laugh of my week over her realism.