Oh, the place I went!

Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.
                           -Dr. Seuss

I've been mulling over this post all week and wondering what direction it would take. I've written out the story two different times before making the realization no one would care about every detail, so here's what went down:

Tuesday, Jackson tested for Memory Master.
He did not make it.
He cried.
I sobbed and thought of any and every thing that I could blame.
I worked hard all year.
I wanted to be rewarded.
I wanted that stinkin' "been there, done that" t-shirt.
I wanted "Work hard" to equal "You Win!"

But this is real life. I should know better.

Once I had my pity party, I knew immediately that the Lord was using this to show me my pride and how much it stinks. It's a work in process, this refinement He's doing in me. Painful, but so very necessary.

Funny, both Jackson and Haviland aced the Bible portion of their memory work, but I did so little rejoicing over this. Clearly, my goal was not to serve and glorify God.

In his book, Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller notes, "What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

I was feeling those things because my idol of worldly success meant more to me than pleasing the God of eternity.

So this week, that's where I am. Sifting through my sin that so easily entangled me and amazingly grateful for the grace He has given me to try again.