This week I've had the most enjoyable time listening to mothers that are a little bit further down the parenting line than I am and I have to tell you, that while all the statistics out there about teenagers and their angst have hung over me (especially when I reflect on my own very unhappy teenage years), I can now say that now I realize it doesn't have to be that way.
I had a chance to sit down with a mother that I know of five children (four of them being teenagers) and I cannot tell you how refreshing it was and to be honest, even a little shocking that guess what? She actually likes her teenagers AND gets along with them. Yes, she said they are growing, changing, becoming independent and even sometimes drive her crazy but that she is delighting in them and has done so in every season of their lives.
Don't ask me why this was somewhat shocking. I think somewhere I've come to believe a lie about the teenage years. That it is just supposed to be a time when both moms/dads and their teenagers throw their hands up in frustration and do their best just to get by and ride out the storm until someone comes to their senses.
Having had that conversation made me wonder what other lies that Satan would love for me to believe. Nuh-uh Satan.
Moms, let's all say it together:
Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12: 1b-2
For another incredibly powerful story of a mother and her teenagers be sure to read the June 3 post from this mom's blog. I'm going to start planning that steak dinner and girl's getaway now... :)
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2 comments:
Maybe it's because I work with teenagers, but I find your discovery a little strange. I know very few parents who throw their hands up and do nothing. The truth is, teenage years are some of the most difficult, but it is manageable. It doesn't mean you won't get into fights with your children, or that at some point your children will scream "I hate you, why was I ever born in this family?" Conflict should be expected between parents and teenagers. But this does not suggest that teenage years are all horrible, and parents cannot be blamed for teenagers' problems.
The difficulty for parents is that they tend to have the most frustrations when they don't own up to their own teenage faults (not their parents' faults). We've all heard it said that if we are likely to get a child similar to how we were with our parents. There is some truth in that if one hasn't dealt with their relationships with their parents. One day, a parent might find themselves having the same argument they had with their parents, only now they're in a different role.
We have to learn to work through our problems with our parents, so that later, we don't come into our teenagers' lives with tons of baggage.
Huh? I think it's strange that you think that stereotype is not normal. I know it should not and does not have to be incredibly awkward, but in our time and culture it is more common for parents and teens to simply disconnect- which is what I mean by throwing their hands up. I know very few families that have a true heart connection to their teens- and this is what I found so encouraging.
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